From Letting Go to Leaning In – Emotional Wellbeing in Midlife Transitions
"The only constant in life is change." – Heraclitus
This is one of my favorite quotes, especially in today's environment. Beyond the everyday change, there’s also a moment in midlife when you look around and realize, everything just feels different.
Maybe you’ve just retired after decades of working, and suddenly your mornings are wide open but oddly quiet.
Maybe your kids have flown the nest, and you walk past their empty bedrooms with a mix of pride and ache.
Or maybe your phone pinged with the sweetest news ever, you’re going to be a grandmother.
These transitions are huge. Beautiful, yes. Exciting, of course. But also, confusing and emotional.
If you’re finding yourself riding waves of joy one minute and tears the next, you’re not alone. These changes come with a whole cocktail of feelings, and emotional wellbeing becomes less about fixing them and more about navigating them with grace.
It’s Okay to Feel Everything (Yes, Everything)
One of the hardest parts of midlife change is the mix of emotions.
Retirement can bring relief but also questions of purpose.
Becoming a grandmother can spark joy but also remind you of how quickly time moves.
Sometimes we think we “should” only feel happy. But let me tell you, feeling bittersweet doesn’t make you ungrateful. It makes you human.
💬 As Elizabeth Gilbert once said:
“Embrace the glorious mess that you are.”So, let yourself feel it all. Cry when you need to. Laugh when you want to.
This isn’t about choosing joy over sadness, it’s about letting both sit at the same table.
Journaling: Your Private Safe Space
If you’ve never journaled before, now might be the perfect time to start.
Writing helps you untangle the knot of feelings that transitions bring.
You don’t need to be a writer. You just need a notebook and a pen.
🌸 Try This Prompt:
- What am I letting go of in this season?
- What am I leaning into?
- What am I most grateful for right now?
Give yourself 10 minutes. No editing, no overthinking. Just let it flow. You may be surprised at what surfaces.
Mindfulness: The Pause Button We All Need
Midlife can feel like a runaway train of changes. Mindfulness slows it down. And no, you don’t have to sit cross-legged chanting “ommm.”
Mindfulness can be as simple as:
- Taking three slow breaths before you get out of bed.
- Enjoying the taste of your morning coffee instead of scrolling your phone.
- Walking outside and paying attention to the sky, the breeze, the sounds.
These small pauses remind you that you’re still here, still grounded, still capable of handling what’s next.
Talk It Out (Seriously, Don’t Bottle It Up)
I can’t tell you how many women I’ve spoken to who say, “I didn’t want to burden anyone with how I’m feeling.”
And I used to be one of these women, but we’re not meant to do life alone.
Whether it’s a trusted friend, a sibling, a therapist, or even a support group, sharing your feelings is healing.
Sometimes just saying, “I’m excited but also scared,” out loud is enough to take the weight off your chest.
And if you’re becoming a grandma, guess what? Your adult child is probably riding their own wave of emotions.
Being open about yours might actually help them feel less alone in theirs.
The Comparison Trap (and How to Avoid It)
It’s easy to look at others and think they’re handling midlife better.
That friend who seems to be traveling the world in retirement.
The grandma who posts daily pictures with her grandkids.
But you don’t see their whole story. And comparing yours to theirs only steals your peace.
💡 Reframe Practice: When you catch yourself comparing, say to yourself: “That’s their story. Mine is unfolding in its own beautiful way.”
Then write down three things you love about your own journey so far.
Gratitude is the antidote to comparison.
Gentle Self-Care: Not a Luxury, a Necessity
Emotional wellbeing is deeply tied to how you care for your body and spirit. And I’m not talking spa days (though those are great). I’m talking small, doable acts that remind you you’re worth caring for.
📝 Self-Care Ideas You Can Start Today: ✔ Take a 15-minute walk without your phone. ✔ Call a friend just to chat. ✔ Stretch before bed. ✔ Light a candle and read for fun. ✔ Treat yourself to flowers, even if it’s just one bloom.
Little things add up. And they remind you, you matter too.
A Story: Leaning In with Grace
My friend Carla retired at 60. The first week, she said, felt like a vacation. The second week, she admitted she felt restless and even a little lost. “I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied to work,” she said.
But instead of pushing those feelings away, she leaned in. She started journaling. She joined a local walking group. And when her daughter had her first baby.
Carla discovered a new joy, grandma time every Thursday afternoon. Carla told me, “I thought I was losing myself in retirement. But really, I was just finding new parts of me.”
That’s what this season is about, not letting go of who you were, but discovering who you’re becoming.
Checklist: 5 Gentle Ways to Nurture Emotional Wellbeing During Change
- Journal Weekly – Even one page helps process emotions.
- Practice Mindful Moments – Start with 3 deep breaths each morning.
- Talk It Out – Share openly with a friend or counselor.
- Limit Comparisons – Focus on your story, not someone else’s.
- Self-Care Rituals – Choose one small act each day just for you.
Closing Thoughts: From Letting Go to Leaning In
Midlife transitions are tender. Retirement, empty nests, becoming a grandmother, they all carry both endings and beginnings.
Every ending is also a doorway. When you let go of what was, you make space to lean into what’s next.
And what’s next can be beautiful, if you give yourself permission to feel, to heal, and to grow.
So take a deep breath, friend. You’re not done. You’re just beginning again.
And this time, you get to do it with all the wisdom you’ve gathered along the way.